Sunday, May 28, 2017

When Satan Whispers...BUT God


For some reason I feel like I can't be the only person who needs to hear this and I promised God a long time ago that anything I wrote would be to bring Him glory, even if it meant being honest about areas I prefer to hide..so here we are.

I have a litany of lies going on in my brain all the time. I read truth statements almost every day, listen to Joyce Meyer every night and most mornings, pray every day and read my Bible weekly.

But the lies? They just get louder the happier I get.

"You can't love anyone the rest of your life. You are not capable of being a wife. And no one is capable of loving you the rest of their life."

But Satan whispered one lie that backfired.

"God promises good things...but look at your life...did He really mean good things for you?"

And that one question....begot this blog...

It's on....let's look at my life.

Born blind then miraculously healed. Told I would never make it and I lived. Meant to be a vegetable...have 3 degrees.
Yes.. But "You were suicidal...Remember Depression?" 
Yes...I was. But God pulled me out of the pit and I don't even recognize who I used to be.

But you weren't supposed to fall in love...you are meant to have your heartbroken. How often were you're dreams handed to you only to be ripped away?
If by dreams you mean things I thought I wanted then yes...But God's plans were so much sweeter. I sobbed the day the door to Mozambique closed...but then came Nigeria.
But what about all those guys you gave pieces of yourselves to? The one you let yourself love even though he didn't deserve it? You swore you would never get over it.
Indeed I did...But God had a different plan.
I cried myself to sleep every night but then came the sweetest dream of all
Adventure I can't even begin to convey
Falling in love
I spoke word curses over myself for years but I have broken agreement with every one of them. And Jesus promises I reap his harvest..not mine

And His harvest? His harvest is plentiful, abundant and precious.

It looks like Berkley and Ellie asking me to play all the time when I never even thought they could love me.
It looks like Derick needing me and loving me, and letting myself need and love him.
It looks like taking care of Poe and planning a wedding that I never dreamed of planning.
But most of all?
It looks like saying yes to Life and all the glitter in it even when Satan whispers "But God"

But God??

I would have been dead...but God
I would have been alone...but God
I would have been heartbroken...but God
I should live in shame...But God....

I should not have the abundant life I do...
But God

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