Sunday, August 21, 2016
The Healing I Never Needed: A Family Calling
Both my brother and my father preached in the last few months, and the topic of CP came up. They talked about how they prayed for healing, and longed for me to know what life in a body free of pain from CP felt like. As I listened to them I realized, thanks to the way my family approached CP, I never needed to be healed...that was never a genuine desire on my part.
As I prayed about that, I realized it was because the Jesus that my family mirrored in their approach to CP was never small. He never had to do anything to convince me He was loving, He was faithful, He was God. I can genuinely say, whatever Jesus plan is regarding my life with CP I have never been more thankful for my family's approach to life with a disability.
My mama made me strong. She made me do everything that everyone else did. She is the reason I button buttons, put my socks on, live independently, battle courageously. From her, I learned CP is never an excuse to be a victim.
My daddy made me dream. He always told me I could do all things through Christ. He fought for my identity when it was lost in depression, and death. He fought even when I didn't want him too. From my daddy, I learned the importance of speaking identity into those areas people are ashamed of, and running the race instead of running away.
My brother taught me to fight for what's right. From Geoff, I learned to remember I was meant to win. I learned never to let others determine what I was capable of. I learned CP was a positive part of my identity, not a negative.
My sister taught me the value of beauty in all things, but especially being different. From Emily, I learned the beauty of embracing myself and everything that that involves. She taught me women are beautiful when they embrace each aspect of their flaws.
My brother Landon, taught me that I was valuable. No matter what the world says about disabilities Landon never let me doubt that CP was a unique and valuable aspect of who I was and the people who were meant to be a part of my life would embrace and love that/
And thanks to all of these things, the physical healing my family longed for was never a need for me. My heart never broke over being physically different thanks to CP. I needed healing in a lot of emotional ways, but I never doubted that Jesus didn't have to heal me physically to be present in my life. He was there. He was there every time I fell and my brothers picked me up. He was there every time my sister did my make up. And He was definitely there when my parents forced me to dream in a world so full of nightmares.
And thanks to those aspects of my identity so wooed to life by my family they removed the need for a healing I never even knew I was supposed to need, and I will be forever thankful.