I have been in the strangest period of transition I have ever experienced in my whole life. And in this period I have realized something about myself, I am a "past dweller." When we moved to Abilene I missed Lubbock, when I went to college I missed high school, and when I have to meet new people there is this part of me that shuts down because I know eventually things will change and our relationship will change along with it.
I miss people the most. Old friends, people that move away, even friends that still live in Abilene but switch seasons while I stay put.
Because of my "past dwelling" I am really bad about being worried about the future, and moving ahead when I know God has told me to. Next week, I leave for Hati, and due to many prayers and random moments that I know were from the Lord, there is a significant chance I will be moving there long term when I graduate,
As I sat on my sister-in-laws couch and told her how nervous I was (a rare occurrence for me when it comes to traveling), I realized the root of it was my "past dwelling," when we talked about Hati I was already thinking about all of the things and people I would leave behind here.
She said something that I tried to cling to this weekend when many of my friends celebrated other transitions, transitions for other people, transitions I want but have yet to experience. And in the midst of this struggle, I forgot to celebrate my own transition. But Sarah reminded me, "You are in a period of transition, and that can be a fearful thing, but try not to let it be. Instead remember, God only transitions us from glory to glory, and if this period has been so glorious, imagine how incredible the next period of your life will be.
So, when I board the plane to Hati next week, I am going to try and do so all in. I am going to celebrate that after years of prayer, tears, and songs of praise God has finally called me out. One thing I am confident of, if it is not Hati, it will be another adventure, and I choose to enjoy the glory of this season, while anticipating the glory of the next one.
Thanks again precious sister-in-law.