Tuesday, June 3, 2014
I'm writing this post because I'm scared, and Jesus has not given me a spirit of fear. Physically, I have not been feeling well, and it scares me because my heart remembers a time when I wondered what was wrong with me that Jesus would not heal me. The little girl inside of me who felt guilty about Cerebral Palsy has taken a new twist of the enemy's knife the past few months.
If Jesus would not heal me from Cerebral Palsy, then how can I trust that He does not want bad things for me? How am I supposed to trust that His will for me is not sickness? As the enemy began to whisper this lie to the scarred part of my heart I began to experience debilitating fear. I love my Father, but there is a wounded little girl inside of me scared to trust Him.
I leave for Africa in 6 days, and for the first time in my ENTIRE life, I'm scared to go. The enemy keeps whispering to me that my body is not ready to make such a trip when I feel so weak. I haven't been able to sleep and I have been experiencing warfare on every front lately. I needed to write this post because I need people out there to know, I am scared. BUT, I choose to remember who my Father is.
He is the Giver of EVERY GOOD and PERFECT gift.
He DOES NOT give a spirit of fear but of POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND.
He is the AUTHOR of LIFE and He has GOOD PLANS for me, NOT harmful plans.
He is LOVE. Real love. Forever love. Can't live without it, dancing under the stars, quiet whispers in the dark love.
I need to remember who I am in Him.
I am CHOSEN. I AM BEAUTIFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE.
I am HEALED by His stripes. I am STRONG because my power is MADE PERFECT in weakness. I AM HIS. I am PROTECTED by His angels because I am CALLED by HIS name. I am SAFE because HE is stronger than any fiery dart the enemy throws at me. HIS WILL for me is NOT one of fear. sickness, doubt or death because He is the giver of ALL GOOD things and He has called me.
I BELIEVE I WILL SEE THE GOODNESS OF THE LORD IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING.
Today I break agreement with the spirit of fear and I choose to trust my Father. I lay down and sleep in peace because my mind is stayed on Him. My body will function EXACTLY the way He made it to and no form of fear, oppression or sickness comes near my dwelling.
Today I walk in LIFE and I "do it afraid"
And, 4 days from now I "go to the nations and make disciples in the name of Jesus."
I choose trust even when my heart and body whisper otherwise. I choose life. I choose peace.
I place all my bets on one name