Friday, January 17, 2014

How Victory Looks When Jesus Wins: How Cerebral Palsy Does Not Mean the enemy Wins

Proverbs 14:12 "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end the way leads to death."
1 John 4:18-19 "There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear and whoever fears has not been perfected in love, we love because He first loved us. "


This post is hard to write solely because there are some things I feel like the Lord has called me to never forget even in the wounds that heal over because scars are a part of what make the man (or, in my case woman).

Jesus is so gracious even when we run away.

Go back with me 25 years.
Picture an epic battle taking place over a little baby who didn't even know she was in one.
Picture her snatched from the clutches of an enemy at the last minute who ran away with his tail between his legs, vowing vengeance.
While her Father told him to bring it on.

Picture a preschool age girl, loved and protected,
singing and happy, prayed and cried over because the enemy knew his latest trick would win.
This disease would mark her life, he could depress her and destroy her...
he could still win
Picture an elementary school girl with questions she didn't know how to ask,
but so surrounded by love it didn't matter.
Picture an enemy calling to her
with a voice fearfully constant, but drowned out
barely.
Picture a brittle teenage girl with eyes so hard and harsh they were like swords wherever they looked,
with bitterness so vile and familiar it covered her like a child's security blanket,
a blanket that was strangling her while she threw herself away because she felt like belonged in the trash.
Picture every horrible thing you've ever thought coming to fruition inside you,
your worse nightmare still chasing you even when the sun came up.
Picture darkness so consuming there was no room even for shadows.
Picture a sick and dying lady
whose only solace is the thought
that eventually it would all be over.
Her enemy cackling because he knew his victory was closer
with each breath she breathed.

Picture her Father laughing at her enemy's ignorance
even while he wept for the road ahead of her,
but Love always does the hard thing if it means winning in the end.
Picture her Father creating her, breathing the breath of Life into her,
Putting her in the kiln, and playing the enemy
for the fool, even as the coward whispered and plotted, and poisoned her with his lies.
Picture the kiln burning and scarring to the point that even tears did not douse the fire.
Picture Him standing in the fire with her and weeping while she pushed Him away.
Picture Him wooing that teenage girl with songs of love and longing, promises of forever, and dreams,

Picture a broken and repentant hearted woman
Wiping the essence of herself, of the only gift she had to offer at his feet.
Picture all of the monsters in her dreams still trying to win but now she knew her Father,
and He was more powerful than anything else.

Picture an enemy knowing that he may have lost the battle,
but determined to win the war,
watching while she fell, grinning when she cried, and more determined than ever to win.

Picture every fall she takes,
every way the disease wins
when she can't hold a baby for fear of dropping her,
when marriage scares her because of the scars all over her body and heart,
when every lie the enemy whispers haunts her because the lies seem so real,
when she is so scared of being different she runs away from anyone else
who might see that difference

Picture a Father who picks her up off the ground and dusts her off
Picture every way He uses the disease to bring her closer to Him, and to the only Love that will ever satisfy.
Picture every moment she gets to celebrate things most people have no idea how special those things are,
when she first tied her shoes,
or buttoned her jeans, or shampooed her hair,
or held her nieces,
when marriage no longer terrifies her because she knows the scars of the One who holds her heart,
when every lie the enemy whispers may win for a moment,
but the Truth that holds her
wins for eternity,
when she is so happy to be different she runs toward
any one who does not know how incredible their differences are.

Picture what happened on Calvary
when Jesus gave His life
because He was thinking of mine, and your's, and the whole world's
and you will know what choosing Life really means,
because once, long before you knew Him,
Life chose you.

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