I'm hesitant to write this post because it makes me vulnerable. It makes me acknowledge something...I'm afraid.
I'm afraid because I graduate in two days and the enemy keeps whispering to me, "No way is this actually going to happen. You're going to be too sick to walk across that stage. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS.
Last night I lay in bed extremely nauseous and talking to the Lord about healing.
Much like Nicodemus I stole to Jesus in the night and said (pathetically) "Jesus, take this away. Please heal me. I call my body to function the way you meant it to...and I would feel better for awhile...and then I would start thinking....NO WAY is this going to work. I can't believe I'm getting sick right now, and then I would feel sick again.
Jesus asked me, "Do you think I can?"
Hear me, I think medicine has a place, and it is a place I am THANKFUL for, but I got convicted that medicine is my "go to."
So, I told Him, "Yes! I do! I believe." Then, I would whisper "Help my unbelief."
Because here is what I know about healing,
Faith plays a role. And, here is what I know about me, I can be wimpy.
But here is what I know about Jesus. Sickness is not His will for me. He lives inside of me.
He has called me to LIFE!
EVERY TIME I accomplish anything, the enemy says, "don't get too happy, you are destined for (insert terrible adjective here.)
Here is what I have to say to the enemy
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; there shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and show him my salvation.
I am delivered. I am called to wellness.
I will walk across that stage, and every step will be praising the Lord.
You, enemy, lose.