Monday, July 1, 2013
What I Learned from "Mission of Mercy"
Everyone who knows me knows that I am a reader. Thanks to this, I have to be careful when I recommend a book because not everyone loves the written word the way that I do. Hear me when I tell you that I believe in the message of the book I am about to mention to you with my whole heart. If you never read another book I recommend, read this one. Nancy Alcorn's new book Mission of Mercy challenged my spiritual perceptions the way few things do. If you want to see evidence of the very real spiritual world we are fighting in, read this book.
People who read my blog know that I am a very proud Mercy girl. I grew so much during that time in my life, and thanks to the tools that I was given there, the growth has only continued. Now, here comes the vulnerable part, the spiritual battles only increased when I left Mercy. Since some of Satan's old lies weren't working on me, he tweaked them a little bit.
I returned to counseling shortly after Mercy, so that I could have the strength to walk out my new life. I felt very ashamed that I had not "changed" enough to walk out my healing alone. In Nancy's new book she reveals that she felt that same strange sense of guilt Satan likes to use when she went to counseling. What a relief to realize all Christians need help sometimes.
Also, shortly after Mercy, I began to have some very weird thought patterns about death. You see, I had spoken death for so long, wanted to die for so long that Satan convinced me that I was going to die because I had not been grateful for life for such a long time. I began to have moments where I just knew something bad was going to happen to me. Nancy describes just such a moment in Mission of Mercy. She writes about dropping a friend off at the airport when all of the sudden she just knew her friend was going to die. She even watched the news, waiting to hear something. As I read this book I literally had to put it down and THANK GOD because I knew I was not the only one who struggled with this destructive thought pattern.
Her counselor called it "catastrophic thinking." Her counselor said that she was "re experiencing trauma with flashbacks and flash forwards" and Satan was using these memories to torment her. As I read this, I realized that that was EXACTLY what was happening to me. It was very hard to be honest with people about this particular struggle because my pride told me that I should already be healed from all the traumatic memories of my past desire for death. As I read about Nancy's own struggle, it gave me the courage to be real about mine. As I read about why Satan was using this particular lie with her, it helped me get to the root of why he thought this lie would work on me, and in seeing that, my own struggles have lessened in both intensity and frequency.
I also learned that just because you have your own areas of struggle, it does not negate your power to make a difference in the lives of others. Jesus wants to use you exactly where you are. It is so sweet to know that you do not have to do anything in order for Him to want you, and to use you to bless others even as you are being blessed. If you are searching for purpose, or wondering how to grow in your relationship with Christ, read this book. You won't regret the investment of your time.