Friday, July 5, 2013
So, You've Got Questions: A Post for the Different
Jesus and me have been on a journey that hurts more than anything I've experienced in my whole life. I have tried everything to just run away from this but I can't. I'm a little mad at Him. But before you get out your Bible's or smack me with a scripture reference I just want to explain what I have realized about myself.
I want to trust Him, and I usually do but there is a reality to pain that I feel like Christians too often ignore. Yesterday was the 4th of July which means celebrating the freedom America has. In light of celebrating such fantastic freedom, it made me come face to face with some areas I am not yet free from. I heard a sweet little girl with no idea who I was ask a question, THE question, the one I have heard almost daily for my whole life.
"Mama, what is wrong with that girl's leg?"
Oh, sweet girl I wish I knew how to answer that question. But that is a circle with no end.
I was born this way. You want to know why? Me too. But I don't.
As I sit here I cry, because I wish I had the answer.
But here's what I do know, there are other people out there just like me. People who feel different, people who have lost some essence of what makes "normal" normal. And, more than any question I have that one breaks my heart.
Because each time I face that question, I remember a little girl,
who would have given anything
to be just like everybody else,
when she didn't need to be
anyone but herself.
Here is what I wish I had known when I was younger, here I talk to the different.
Hear me little girl with glasses, and little boy with the hand that won't hold the football
I stand for you.
I know that you want to be out there playing just like everyone else.
I know that it's not fair that you fight
harder and longer than anyone else
to fit in.
I remember picking up pennies in occupational therapy,
and walking, walking, walking,
falling, falling, falling,
and crying because
just once I wanted
something to feel normal.
Hear me sweet ones,
You are strong,
to be different.
You are fun
because you don't have to be
like everyone else.
Your defeats will be hard,
but your victories
will be sweeter
than anyone else will EVER understand.
Your questions may not have answers,
and they may never go away,
but if you know the Jesus that I know
He's okay if you get a little mad at Him.
Because when He looks at you,
He sees someone special,
someone strong enough
You are His front line warrior,
and if you grab a hold of that while you're young,
then nothing else matters...
because all warriors have weapons,
and all soldiers have battles
Your weapon is determination,
determination to button that button
climb those stairs,
pick up that penny.
Your weapon is your smile.
You smile at that girl next to you who asked the question you don't want to answer.
You smile at your therapist because they are trying to help,
you smile at the next battle
because that means you won the last one.
Your weapon is your hug.
You hug your parents (because they are fighting just as hard as you are).
You hug the girl next to you in therapy
because every warrior knows
they don't fight alone.
Your weapon is your playfulness.
When you can't play like everyone else,
Cheer from your chair,
is all about strategy.
Your weapon is your "thank you."
Thank your teachers for working with you,
Thank your therapists for putting up with you :)
Thank your friends for letting you be your awesome self :) (Because let's be real, you are,)
Thank your family for teaching you how to fight.
And when you need a reminder that
the world needs you,
with your body broken
just the way it is,
Remember, He and I stand for you,
and when you want to be normal,
that's over rated anyways.