Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Sometimes It's Dark: A Post About Choices

I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who call you by your name. Isaiah 45:3

Sometimes I just want to close my eyes, because I know too much...
I know laying in bed at night unable to sleep when I remember the dark places. 
Skipping class, headaches, and dreams of being 
anywhere but here. 

I know the Valley of the Shadow of Death
Intimately
Dressed to mourn
even as I lived

I wish I walked the "normal" small town Christianity,
whose biggest struggle is standing up for Christ
when the whole town knows
if you don't
your mother will find out. 

I wish I remembered
Secret things
always come out. 
I wish I had stopped
hiding
from the Love that sought me. 
I wish I knew about the Valley
before I walked through it. 
Because what I know now 
is that darkness can be overwhelming, 
some memories leave scars
even after healing.

I wish I could go back to that little girl
and tell her to STOP making choices
that feel good in the moment...

Choices that leave you in the dark...
but when I complain to my sweet Father about my road
He reminds me
I give you My greatest treasures, my sweetest secrets
when it's 
Dark. 

Sarah Turner

Copyright 2013

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