Monday, June 24, 2013

Living Sacrifices: The Pain of Growth

 I appeal to you therefore, brothers,[a] by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.[b] Do not be conformed to this world,[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

I lay in the midst of flames, 

watching the ashes of all I am 
flash and flicker
and strain against 

A million small lies have whispered their way into my life

through other people, the world around me, and even myself. 
Lies that I know intimately, 
that shadow me when no one is looking, 
and when everyone is. 

I'm very uncomfortable here. 

I am in a new place, 
with new people, 
and no family, 
and unfortunately familiar lies. 

I have never felt more alone, 

and strangely
more confident. 
Because those lies
have become so consistent 
they are background noise
to the real show. 

There is a reason 
people sacrifice dead things.
The pain of choosing to 
is a heavy weight. 

I have scars that everyone sees,

and scars no one ever will. 
I find myself hurting and alone frequently here. 
I hear Him saying "Go this way," and I say, 
"Here am I, send me."

And for the first time,

I am not running from something,
but towards Him. 

I am growing, 

and the pains are like fire. 
I have never experienced pain like this before. 

But Jesus wants a heart

A love that chooses, 

A sacrifice that 


Praise when pain manifests

Truth when lies have fun with my mind. 
And LIFE when all that hinders me
burns to death
and all that is left
is Jesus.

I could deaden my heart

but then 
I would not be offering 
a living sacrifice. 
and that is the only sacrifice that counts. 

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