Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The Sewing Together of Fig Leaves: Who Told you, you Were Naked?

Genesis 3:7-11
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked?
The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.

I know Your voice,
and I am scared because I finally
see, the real me. The me that I tried to hide.
The “me” that
other people see,
the me, the voice in my head swears
is monstrous.
I don’t want You
to see me
like this.
Why didn’t You tell me
that I was created, vulnerable,
I look around for something, anything
to cover up.
I tattoo words to cover up.
I hide behind
him because he has to be
more yours than I am.
I sit in the church pews
I play the role
of missionary
and feel alien
among the lost,
so content in
being naked.
I go under the water
and come up again
I don’t want
these people
to see me.
I sew together
an identity from bits and pieces of covering
that I haphazardly hear
I am supposed to be.
I hear You
walking with me
and I know
You want me
only by You
But You have to come
find me first.
I have stretched garments
out of so many pieces
I do not know
who you made me
to be originally.
What does it mean
to be protected
only by You?
You come and find me
and ask me who told you?
 Who told you
You were naked?
Who told you
You were something to be ashamed of?
Stop hiding and remember.
Remember what I told you
You and me?
We are forever.
When I cover you
It means no shame.
It means you do not have to hide
who you really are
It means
You are who I say you are.
It means
all the voices who tell you
you should be embarrassed by
your limp and your loudness
and your honesty
are wrong.
It means I AM
going to cover you
It means I AM enough.
It means all the covering
you need is Me.
you become
who you believe
you are.
when someone gives you
a piece to cover up with,
ask yourself,
who told me
I was naked?

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

If Fire Burns Me

8 Therefore at that time certain Chaldeans came forward and maliciously accused the Jews.
16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[a] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:8, 16-18

I hear the Accuser whisper to me.
“Look at you, you are weak.
You can’t even walk on your own, you fall every other step.
Jesus gave you the option to speak life, and you spewed death.
He wept while you cursed Him,
He watched while you gave yourself to Lust, Despair, and Death.
He called you and you plugged your ears.
And now you dare,
to call yourself His.
You may as well spit in His face.
What have you to offer Him?

As trapped as I feel,
I hear a voice I recognize.
My sweet Savior, who wooed me away,
and He says,
you have no need to defend yourself,
you are Mine.

When the enemy sees his tack about to fall
he goes for another weak willed, argument I recognize,
one I am ashamed to say sometimes works.
“What if you can’t trust Him?
What if He made you on accident?
What if He leaves you to an enemy who will devour all that you have worked for?
What if He leaves you without anyone by your side?
sick and wounded and desperate the rest of your life?
What if He asks you to give up everything you have ever known,
all to follow a plan that is not what you thought it would be?
What if you trust Him,
and He burns you?

And I hear the Holy Spirit say,
“Yes, what then?
What do you say
to your accuser?”
And my soul says,
“He will never leave me or forsake me. I do not have to defend myself.
Your accusations are baseless. He can save me from any fire I walk through.
Even if He asked me to walk through life,
sick and scared and questioning,
Even if I have no idea which way He is leading me,
and it seems dark, and scary, and I am alone.
Even if I have to lay down my life
to gain all of Him
I will never belong to you.
I will never fight for your side,
or bow down to your way of thinking.
He gave me a choice,
and I choose
Even when walking through the fire,
But the best part
is that Life
has chosen me.
© Sarah Turner 2013